Bob Chipman

Bob Chipman
Tomatometer-approved critic

Movie Reviews Only

Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
1.5 54% Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle (2018) All dropped into a thoroughly ordinary-looking jungle environment with the palette of a dreary network drama and all the stylistic flourish of a sedan commercial; like bare fluorescent bulbs humming at full brightness in an otherwise bare beige room.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Dec 9, 2018
3/10 40% The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018) One really shouldn't be able to make a premise that starts with 'Black Metal Ellen Page versus Ivanka as imagined by Frank Miller for The Button The Blows Up The World' [this] dull.‐ Escapist Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 9, 2018
5/10 34% The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) Not sure what we're supposed to expect from a dark, girl-power, Disney-brand sort-of sequel to The Nutcracker, [but] 'Helen Mirren fighting hussar Terminators with a bullwhip' isn't a key third act element that leaps immediately to mind.‐ Escapist Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 1, 2018
1 16% Robin Hood (2018) The kind of bad movie people end up talking about for years after, that fails because someone thought they had a big idea that nobody told them was a terrible idea until it was too late."‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Dec 1, 2018
3.5 83% Creed II (2018) The actors are all on point, the storytelling through action is brutal, crisp and satisfying and whichever of the two credited screenwriters came up with Adonis' ring-entrance gimmick should get a special Oscar just for that note.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 23, 2018
3/10 57% The Grinch (2018) No, really, that's [it] now: 'What if instead of an absurdly short-tempered psychotic hermit who snaps, the Grinch is a mildly depressed neurotic who doesn't manage seasonal affective disorder very well and eventually escalates for no good reason?'‐ Escapist Magazine
Read More | Posted Nov 23, 2018
2/10 88% Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018) A frustratingly perfunctory movie where the lack of a strong central story suggests that no one at the studio could think of a reason this series needed a Part 2 [either.]‐ Escapist Magazine
Read More | Posted Nov 17, 2018
0.5 38% Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) I'm not going to say it's the worst movie I've ever seen; but it's very possibly the worst prequel - the new low-point for expository, minutiae-obsessed, continuity-porn, anti-narrative in the "Cinematic Universe" era of blockbuster film making.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 17, 2018
0 17% Pixels (2015) It is cinematic strychnine. Celluloid chlamydia. I shouldn't even be here, this isn't my jurisdiction: I'm a film critic, and Pixels isn't a movie - it's an active crime scene. And the crime is cultural vandalism.‐ Moviebob Central
Read More | Posted Nov 9, 2018
3.5 82% Overlord (2018) I won't lie and say that the current state of the world hasn't made good, old-fashioned Nazi-blasting even more entertaining than it used to be; but the bottom line is that Overlord is [as good as] movies like this get.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 9, 2018
2.5 22% Inferno (2016) Occasionally threatens to [become] the suburban multiplex answer to a lesser Dario Argento production.‐ Moviebob Central
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 89% Doctor Strange (2016) Like looking at a black light poster on uppers: It's visually lovely, and you're having a good time, but there's also a small nagging sense that somebody might have brought the wrong drugs to the party.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 74% Ghostbusters (2016) A great team deserved a greater story.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3.5 85% Star Trek Beyond (2016) Probably the best overall movie in the franchise since The Voyage Home.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
1 54% Jason Bourne (2016) I have always been completely baffled by what's supposed to be so fascinating about the Bourne movies.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
1.5 27% Suicide Squad (2016) [Feels] all at once like an irritating wallow in the paint-huffing waste-of-skin teenage version of anarchic excess and the infuriatingly fake, phony, mass-market corporate co-opting of the paint-huffing waste-of-skin teenage version of anarchic excess.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3.5 83% Sausage Party (2016) It is, simply stated, piss-your-pants funny - both in that I laughed almost hard enough to do that and in that it's the sort of humor where "pissing your pants" would be an actual punchline.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 88% Pete's Dragon (2016) Anyone even a year or two older than Pete himself will be able to guess where this is going, but the magic is in getting there and Pete's Dragon is one of the most gentle, deliberate versions of this particular story to come along in a long time.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3.5 97% Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) The point here is to savor the intricately animated action sequences and to drink in the potent mood of the piece, which brings a kinetic edge to Laika's signature detail-heavy, slightly melancholy production design‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 88% Don't Breathe (2016) A seemingly limited premise is rendered utterly riveting and tense as hell.‐ Moviebob Central
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 85% Sully (2016) a welcome return to form for Eastwood after the depressing misfire that was American Sniper.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 36% Blair Witch (2016) A cover set of The Blair Witch's Greatest Hits: Unreliable map, time-displacement, scary noises, stickmen, rockpiles, face in the camera, spooky house, stand in the corner, was-that-or-wasn't-that-a-witch, goodnight Cleveland there will be no encore.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3.5 63% The Magnificent Seven (2016) The main comparative takeaway I can give is that neither one is precisely as good as Seven Samurai, but you already knew that.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
2.5 64% Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016) Eva Green doing the stern-yet-nurturing British headmistress routine? To borrow a quote from Patton Oswalt: Which gods did I please!?‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
2.5 72% The Birth of a Nation (2016) A frustratingly incomplete half-measure overall, however understandable the sense that it might've been something more must have felt back in Park City. That final shot, though... damn, that really is something.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
2 51% The Accountant (2016) I can honestly barely be bothered to remember what the point of the present-day part of the story even was.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
1 37% Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) Instead of becoming a syndicated TV vehicle for whoever the present-day equivalent of Kevin Sorbo or Lorenzo Llamas is, somebody decided that this needed to be a movie franchise for Tom Cruise.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 86% Hacksaw Ridge (2016) An obscenely violent gore-porn cartoon conjured forth by a spectacularly disturbed, deeply unwell mind [and] as sincere an expression of faith as cinematic narrative as you're ever likely to see. So, in other words, a new Mel Gibson film.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 94% Arrival (2016) I can't help but feel like the film is eventually a bit too clever for its own good‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
1.5 74% Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) The closest thing to the grotesque incestuous f***pile that defines the deeper recesses of modern "fanfic" culture ever to grace a movie screen: a Doctor Who meets Pokemon mash-up rewritten into a tangential Harry Potter prequel.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 95% Moana (2016) I wasn't blown away by Moana, but I liked it a lot. ‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 60% Allied (2016) About as good as "grown up" movies get this time of year ‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
2 73% Nocturnal Animals (2016) By now all of the "I'd pay to watch Amy Adams read ____" jokes have been made, but suffice it to say that in practice it's... not exactly a riveting spectacle, let's put it that way.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3.5 84% Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) When Rogue One is following the "cool and different" edict, that's when it's awesome‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 72% Sing (2016) Understands the unironic way the premise of talent contest reality shows sincerely connects with people, and why this particular arrangement of tunes and character stock-types works even though (indeed because) they've become "cheezy" and overly familiar.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
0.5 17% Assassin's Creed (2016) The action is barely passable, the look of everything is hopelessly generic, the story is stripped bare and totally uninvolving, there isn't a single memorable or remotely interesting thing going on in it.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
4 93% Hidden Figures (2017) Here's a compliment you don't get to give often: This movie is really good, and it didn't even need to be!‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
2 83% Silence (2017) If nothing else, you've got to hand it to Martin Scorsese on this one just for having the fortitude, commitment to vision and sheer conviction to forge ahead and make a movie that (at least on paper) basically nobody is going to want to watch,‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
1.5 86% A Monster Calls (2017) The absolute worst? When a film is trying really hard with only the best of intentions and all the right influences to say something very welcome and worth saying... and still, sucks.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
2 35% Live By Night (2017) gradually realizing that not only isn't it good but that it's never going to become good feels like a small-scale slow-motion tragedy‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3 76% Split (2017) The Shyamalanaissance is real!‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
2.5 38% Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017) The Resident Evil franchise as a whole [is] so profoundly past its sell-by date that every sequel feels like a nostalgic revival of something that never actually went away.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3.5 87% The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) One of the most original and satisfying horror movies to come along in a good while.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
3.5 90% The Lego Batman Movie (2017) Without question the best movie to emerge from under the DC Comics umbrella since 2008.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
3.5 89% John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) It's another John Wick movie. I shouldn't have to say another goddamn thing.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
3 43% A Cure For Wellness (2017) An enthralling, visionary, gloriously-realized work of gothic horror‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
3.5 93% Logan (2017) Jackman has been defined as a screen presence by almost two decades of playing this character across the various X-Men movies... and yet, the X-Men movies themselves have ultimately been a succession of average-to-forgettable films.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
4 99% Get Out (2017) There are a dozen places where this could've all gone wrong and fallen apart, but Peele has clearly shown up to play.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
2.5 35% The Great Wall (2017) A mediocre movie that's actually a lot more fun to unpack as a pop-culture "moment" than it is to watch - but, then... it's also actually pretty fun to watch.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
3 76% Kong: Skull Island (2017) I just couldn't shake the feeling that I would've enjoyed this even more if it really was just a guy in a dumpy gorilla suit stomping around on miniature sets.‐ Geek
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018